adventures in firebird ownership - the breakdown, pt. II

After a shower and some dinner, I went out to check up on the Firebird to determine what could be done next.

As I unscrewed the panel in the driver's side footwell, a broken zip-tie fell out. I poked around and found the clutch master cylinder link (and the replacement bushing), but could not determine where it attached to the clutch pedal until after I studied the diagrams in the manuals more thoroughly and brought a better flashlight out.

The replacement bushing didn't seem too bad, so I put it back on and fitted the pedal to the master cylinder. The bushing promptly broke again, with tab bits flying out. Figuring I had nothing to lose, I put it back on backwards, and it actually held! With this rigging I was able to move it from the dump spot into my usual parking space. I then tried my luck and drove around the entire parking lot, but just as I was finishing the circuit the pedal broke again. This time I was stuck in first, so I limped back to my parking space and stalled it there.

Tomorrow I will see if NAPA is open - I have had it happen before that these replacement parts on the shelves have been sitting there so long that the plastic gets brittle. It seems like a crappy component anyway so I will need the nicest crap I can get. At least it seems like I fully understand the issue now.

adventures in firebird ownership - the breakdown, pt. I

Then the clutch pedal stopped working.

The clutch gave out just as I was shifting from first to second while pulling away from a stoplight, leaving me stuck in neutral in the left lane. I had no power to the wheels so I had to coast to the left shoulder of the divided highway, though I couldn't get over too far off the road due to a dropoff. Someone that had been behind me expressed their opinion out the window as they drove past, but I didn't catch it. I don't imagine it was kind words.

As I was calling AAA, two gentlemen from a nearby Space Age filling station bicycled up and asked if there was anything they could do. I had to wave the spacemen on, explaning the clutch pedal was broken but thanking them for their concern.

My conversation with AAA went something like this:

AAA: Thank you for calling AAA roadside assistance, how can I help you?
Me: I could use a spot of roadside assistance.
AAA: What happened?
Me: My clutch pedal gave out and I had to pull over.
AAA: Are you in a safe location?
Me: Mmm...kinda.
AAA: Kinda?
Me: I'm on the left shoulder.

AAA dispatch lady decided that as I was causing trouble on the highway, I got priority status. Sure enough, the truck was there less than 5 minutes later. The AAA man tried messing around with the clutch pedal but it wasn't fixable on the embankment of a divided highway. As AAA man was loading the Firebird onto his truck, a 3rd-gen Camaro drove past in the other direction giving me a 'tsk tsk' finger waving. All I could do was shrug.

AAA man wanted to have another go at fixing the Firebird, so we pulled into a parking lot to get out of traffic. He fiddled around and found that the clutch pedal had broken free of the clutch master cylinder. I declined his offer to jury-rig it with a zip-tie and call it good, and decided to continue towing the Firebird home.

Further down the road, we happened upon a parts store that was still open. We decided to check it out on AAA man's suggestion. Parts man and AAA man were unable to find the replacement in the parts database, but we found it in a set of various bushings in one of the aisles. AAA man set about installing the replacement and I ate a Payday bar.

The replacement seemed to take, so AAA man unloaded the Firebird and I hopped in to drive it around the parking lot. I got a few gear changes out of it, but then the clutch pedal gave out again. We loaded the Firebird back up on the truck and took it home, dumping it in my apartment complex's lot. AAA man was dismayed that something he had repaired didn't work, but I assured him he had already gone above and beyond his duty.

With that, AAA man drove away, leaving me with a broken Firebird.

adventures in firebird ownership - OCH and the U-Pull

Today is my first and last Saturday free for some time, so I decided to spend it getting outside and working on car stuff.

I started by checking the fluids, which seemed to be at good levels despite something continuing to burn even after I had the valve cover gaskets replaced. The oil was pretty dark though, and while I have been topping it off it hadn't been properly changed since September.

I decided to take the Firebird to Oil Can Henry's despite only needing the one point of their Famous 20-Point Oil Change Service. They apparently don't see many 3rd-gens there; one tech said the engine 'looks like the same V-8 in my truck' (I doubt it, being a V-6), and I had to point out to the other tech where the air filter was so he could check it. (It's a K&N lifetime filter. PSYCHE.) After changing the oil and topping off my 'clutch fluid' I was on my way.

Coworkers have made passing reference to a U-Pull parts yard on 99W out by Sherwood, and I figured it was worth a look. Ten months into ownership I am still plagued by door troubles, and I don't want to try fixing it until I've had a go somewhere else.

I paid my $2 to get in and lo and behold, there is a fresh 25th-anniversary Camaro right by the entrance. I set about destroying the door. It was filthy work, but I stripped it down as much as I could. I could now see how the interior door handle works but did not figure out how one was supposed to remove it. I removed it anyway. I could also see the infamous window gear that is missing teeth on my Firebird, but destroy as I could I was unable to reach it. I decided to abandon it for now, as even with my new working knowledge of the mechanisms holding the door together I do not think I can even get to the door handle without destroying the door.

With door handle in hand, I set off into the main area. The internet provided me with a list of all the 3rd-gens on the lot. However, unlike the 25th-anniversary these cars have seen better days. I was hoping to find better sun visors, but most of the cars have had their head liners removed. There was a Camaro that looked like it had started life as red and been painted metallic blue, like my Firebird. I was sad for it and tried to put the t-tops back in place to keep the rain out.

In the end, I did salvage a body piece from a '91 Firebird and some seat belt parts from a '90 Camaro. I tried to acquire an EGR solenoid as well, but couldn't figure out how to remove what I was assuming was it. I set off for home filthy and exhausted.

I had never actually been out to that section of 99W, but was pleased by what I found. Sherwood is just outside the conglomerate of cities in the Portland Metro Area and has some nice divided highways to and from it. I was able to open up a bit and let the Firebird do its thing.

Then the clutch pedal stopped working.

freestyle parking

A local Wendy's has a stretch of parking lot with no lines. I think this is interesting because once somebody is parked there, everybody else seems to park in the same manner. Most people pull in perpendicularly. Today there was another guy who decided to parallel park there which puts a whole new spin on it. I always pull in at an angle because that section is really only ever approached from one direction, and I also like to mess with people. If I'm the first one there, incoming people tend to also park at an angle just because they see I did it. With enough people coming and going, this pattern I created could conceivably continue long after I've left.

adventures in firebird ownership - the little things

I've been trying to spend a little time each weekend working on the Firebird. For the moment I am putting off fixing the bigger problems and have been tweaking annoying things.

I spent $75 on new lift supports for the hood and hatch from a man called Mr. Lou. I was concerned they wouldn't fit, but the real issue turned out to be the existing supports. The rear hatch was held in place by a massive TORX (star) bolt, on the order of what is used to hold seatbelts in place. The couple of TORX bits I had were nowhere large enough, and I couldn't get any torque just wedging a flathead in there. In the end I had to go to Home Depot and invest in new tools, but the end result is that all TORX bolts in the future are fair game. I am thrilled to be able to open the car up without wedging a big stick in somewhere.

I also ordered a t-top bag from eBay, which just arrived today. I think the previous owner spilled his beer on it. Fortunately I have some time to clean it up before nice weather returns.

Finally, I had the paperwork filled out several months ago but just yesterday I got around to submitting an application for custom plates. It's completely unnecessary but I think it will look good. I may have skipped a meeting called by a girl at work to go to the DMV instead.

adventures in firebird ownership - screwed

I did some more work on the Firebird today. One of the parking lights was missing a bolt, and one of my aftermarket Kenwood speakers was about to fall out because it was missing some screws. The parking light was straightforward enough (although the left one had gone out AGAIN), but doing the speaker involved removing a piece of the interior. I also had to get in the back seats which required moving a bunch of junk, and while moving the passenger seat forward I discovered another petrified french fry, which I disposed of. I apparently have not yet finished cleaning out all the hidey holes.

I managed to get the speaker secured with shiny new screws and decided to do the matching one as well, which was just as well because I discoved it was fastened with more damned square drive screws. I swapped those out for my shiny new Philips screws and then realized I had screwed down the speaker without the frame for the cover. As I was undoing the screws, the speaker made an ugly sound (I had the stereo on). I was worried the speaker might have blown out, but it turned out to just be the wires coming loose. After an electrical detour to my mechanical fix-up job, I got the other speaker secured as well. All this took me about an hour, but I feel good about it.

adventures in firebird ownership - the oil filler cap

I did some work on the Firebird this weekend. This may conjure images of spanners and jacks, but it has mostly been relegated to housekeeping and interior design. One concern that has been ongoing is the mystery smoke - some unknown substance burning when I idle at stoplights. I was worried this was the clutch until I discovered the same thing happened when I put the car in neutral. More recently I began to suspect it is oil, because the oil level has been slowly dropping. Through great effort I replaced the PCV valve about two weeks ago, which seems to have mitigated the problem, but the smoke continues.

Last week I found the oil level had gotten all the way down to the add level, so I picked up a quart of 5W-30 with the intent of adding it over the weekend. After all, I did manage to locate the oil filler cap during my PCV adventure. So on a brisk fall Saturday morning I popped the hood and went to remove the filler cap to add my oil.

The cap spun idly in my hand.

This was of great concern to me, as I am still a maintenance neophyte. I fiddled some more with the cap, seeking to release whatever child safety lock I imagined lay beneath. I had no success and suspended my attempts.

One thing I did note was that the cap advises the reader to SEE OWNER'S MANUAL. I recently procured a fresh copy of the manual, as the copy that came with the car was exposed to a ruptured waterlogged road flare in the part of the car I refer to as the magic mystery murder box. In any case, the owner's manual went so far as to describe the grade of oil used and a schedule for changes. Undeterred, I sought out my third party repair manuals, which helpfully describe the process as "remove oil filler cap."

I made another attempt to remove oil filler cap. The cap spun idly in my hand.

At this point I turned to the internet for advice. Some light Googling suggested that the teeth of the cap may engage differently if the engine is hot than when it is cold. Not needing another excuse to drive the Firebird, I took it for a spin. After ten miles of enthusiastic driving warmed the car up, I gave the cap another go.

The cap spun idly in my hand. And then I got singed by hot gasses.

I now weighed my options. Was it worth getting an oil change just to add oil? Surely this situation will just occur again in the future. And was I going to admit defeat? Not just yet.

Some more thorough internet research turned up a thread between some Jeep owners complaining of stuck oil filler caps. One contributor described how he resorted to disassembling the cap by using a screwdriver to remove the top cover, and then a pair of pliers to unscrew the lower assembly. I wasn't sure about taking such a drastic measure, but the contributor claimed the two halves would snap back together with no problem.

Armed with this advice and the vigor of a last ditch effort, I set out to the car with screwdriver and pliers. The flathead found good leverage, and the cap easily gave way to reveal that

IT

WAS

NOT

A

CAP.

It was a plug. A rubber stopper. No teeth, no lower assembly. Just a plug.

I added the quart of 5W-30 to the Firebird.

This is the sort of thing that causes frustration for me. Had they mentioned this AT ALL, ANYWHERE I could have been spared over an hour of grief. All the documentation overlooks one simple fact at the beginning of the process. They can't assume I will know this ahead of time, or else I would have no need for manuals, right? And yet nobody states, "The cap is really a plug. Just pry it out." I had a similar experience with the PCV valve, which is a one-minute job for someone with the proper knowhow. I'm not a stupid man, I just haven't been exposed to this sort of tribal knowledge. Which bodes well for future adventures.

uccello di fuoco

I have been driving my 1989 Firebird for about four weeks now and I love it. There are some small issues...

burns something at idle (oil?)
low oil pressure
driver's side window doesn't roll all the way up
driver's side door does not open from the inside
right front parking light is out
one high beam is out
passenger seat belt has no should guide bracket
rear view mirror fell off
t-tops leak
bent front cross member impedes fan shroud
one wheel cap missing
hood/trunk pneumatics not strong enough
12 MPG city

But I don't mind!

10

One of the more amusing things about Tiger Woods 10, unfortunately not featured prominently, is that it includes all of the USGA Rules and Decisions. Much of it is comprised of gems like the following:

Q. A player's ball came to rest overhanging the edge of the hole. The player walked up to the hole and cast his shadow on the ball, believing that this would cause the grass to wilt and his ball to fall into the hole. Was the player in breach of Rule 1-2 (Exerting
Influence on Ball) when he cast his shadow on the ball?

A. No.

sometimes you got to fight

I went to the Hyundai dealers again today. At Premier Hyundai, as soon as I got out of my car a cocky lackey came up and presumptively asked,"Cash for Clunkers?" I'm sorry, the Malibu is NOT a clunker. If he hadn't caught me so off guard I would have told him to step off, although I was pretty firm about it anyway*. I asked clackey about GCs with navigation, since the forum online says the first models are starting to trickle in, but he insisted it would still be six months yet.

I then went over to Beaverton Hyundai, where I was oddly not accosted as soon as I got out of the car. Since we last met they have stocked up on turbo GCs, presumably because those qualify for C4C (whereas the V6 I want does not). After poking around a bit on the lot I went inside, where Lackey 1 greeted me and knew who I was. So it's not that they weren't paying attention - they were able to pull my file up as soon as I arrived, and were scrambling to get the guy who is 'assigned' to me.

Lackey 1 offered to show me the same navigation system in another car, which I correctly pointed out is the same unit as the Sonata rather than the Genesis sedan. I played with that a little bit and I think it would work, although I am not looking forward to using the touchscreen for stereo controls. Most likely I will just be using iPod with the steering wheel mounted controls anyway. Lackey 1 offered to get some info on availability and fetched a man in a Hawaiian shirt, who told me they wouldn't be getting any navigation-equipped models until March.

When I pressed further, Hawaiian Shirt Man explained that what he means is that he knows of navi-equipped GCs 'on the ground' but he isn't ordering any until the 2011 models. Based on the information I have pieced together it sounds like navi will be equipped as standard on the V6 GT and Track models, so I hope he intends to see out the rest of the year with his current stock. In any case, the cars he knew of were all GT trims and he was not aware of any Track models equipped with the navi yet, although he said he would check on Monday. Hawaiian Shirt Man also suggested that Hyundai was now only providing Track models to dealers with technicians sufficiently trained to maintain them, which they happen to be, and that he would be OK to trade for a Track model even if I didn't buy it because they were good cars to have. I told him to find a Mirabeau Blue one, and hope that my file already says I'm after the A/T - although so far I have no reason to doubt the completeness of their files.

So, it seems like the local dealers are not going to be of much further use unless I enter into negotiations with one of them.

*I am opposed to 'Cash for Clunkers'. I am opposed to it on a personal basis, on a car enthusiast basis, and if I were environmentally minded I would be opposed to it on that basis as well. I don't like my car being called a clunker (although I don't know if it even qualifies - damned if I am going to check). I don't want the government giving my car the sodium silicate lethal injection. I don't want the government demolishing other cars that are rare or interesting, like the people who clunkered a C4 Corvette and a Maserati. I don't want somebody destroying my Firebird before I get to it! We should also not be cashing in our cultural heritage for shortsighted gain. How about we tear down the White House to help support our country's floundering homebuilding industry? I am further appalled that this whole business is being tauted as an environmentally friendly initiative, because it is better to just keep an old car running than to go through the trouble of destroying it and then building a whole new car - especially hybrids, with their nickel battery packs. Whatever happened to reduce, reuse, recycle?